Let me start this off with a little explanation and back story. i was raised in an astoundingly up tight “Christian” family where hypocrisy was the native language. i had an undiagnosed mentally unstable mother whom decided i was the “baby” and would live with them forever. And my father might have well been absent as he let my mother walk all over him. my brother kept to himself but actively worked very hard to get away from the situation. We were raised to be “god loving”, not have sex before marriage and that people that practiced BDSM were evil, among many other strict beliefs that we were upheld to but our parents seemed incapable of practicing.
Continue reading “Journal 6 – His slut”
unfortunately, slow down over the next three to four weeks. we’ve put a hold on everything until the move is settled, there is a lot of stress and bad energy floating around the house. The tension is like a sbd fart, and you just can’t run from the stench. It’s taking a toll on the play time and we just don’t have time to actually sit down and get information and documents all settled. my journals will continue as i have time but for now my informational “chapters” will stop until after the move. i will continue adding to “helpful links” every Monday and remain open to questions here or via email. Sorry if there’s any disappointment! i promise the chapters of our journey will start back up as soon as i can!
ATTENTION: breath play is EXTREMELY dangerous and can be fatal.
i’m going to be talking a little dirty today… you can ask my Master however, i’m not the best at dirty talk ha.
Continue reading “Journal 5 – Breath play”
i crave Him, i need Him. i love to please Him. And He has to cum at all costs. i will do absolutely anything to make this happen. “No holes barred”. Exciting you say? It’s more of a burden to me, not because my desire to make Him cum is burdensome, it’s actually when He doesn’t cum or doesn’t want to… that’s when my desire becomes a burden.
Continue reading “Journal 4 – More than just a nympho”
i wanted to write a little lovey duvey today…
i know exactly when He is going to leave. i know exactly when He’s thinking He should leave… my heart pounds the moment He sighs… it’s all unspoken with my Master. i know it’s almost 2 o’clock the instant His beautiful lips purse and he inhales sharply, His full brows only the slightest bit furrowed. And my heart sinks to my stomach as He breaths out heavily.
Continue reading “Journal 3 – When Master is gone…”
i had the pleasure of having a conversation with a fellow submissive. we had gotten into conversations before about other BDSM topics.
she asked me how I did it, surprised and somewhat flattered i asked her, “do what?”. And she says, “how do you be such a good submissive?” and to this i laughed.
And i began to explain to her what i’m going to tell those of you wondering the same question, “how to be a good submissive”.
Continue reading “i’m going to address being a “good submissive/slave/lil””
Today i’ve decided that i will be talking about new relationships. Seems like the best place to start given my Master and i are doing just that. However, the new relationship is followed by a history between us. So it’s “new-ish”. Stuff has happened, the power switch is going to take time to semi solidify, and the best way to ease into the new relationship is to treat it as such, even though it’s the same couple (easier said than done i know).
i will be talking about creeds, contracts, BDSM checklists, collars (day and play), how i go about starting a new or new-ish relationship (we could also say new dynamic) and as usual i will find something related to ramble about.
Continue reading “Chapter 1 – In the beginning”
It’s very difficult for me to relax when things go haywonky.. i have a hard time winding my mental status down and my sexual drive seems to go into overdrive. it’s as if i’m compelled to force the scene to continue.
Continue reading “Journal 2 – When things don’t go “according to plan””
i read this post not that long ago that really got me thinking. If you’re not ready to think like your Master, if you aren’t always thinking about His needs and best interest then you are just a very selfish submissive and deserve every whiping you get and you will never get collared. A one sided way of thinking you say?
i chose this. He accepted.. my job is to serve Him, in any and every way He has told me to, it seems like a lot once you get into a D/s relationship. And what is He doing anyways? Bossing me around and ordering His cock sucked just perfect? i started to feel taken advantage of for a small touch. my thinking was one sided, “i do all of this for you, and i get nothing in return” this thinking started when He changed my sleep schedule about a month ago. Oh my god i was fucking pissed after day two.
Continue reading “Journal 1 – 10 Things your Master needs”