Journal 6 – His slut

Let me start this off with a little explanation and back story. i was raised in an astoundingly up tight “Christian” family where hypocrisy was the native language. i had an undiagnosed mentally unstable mother whom decided i was the “baby” and would live with them forever. And my father might have well been absent as he let my mother walk all over him. my brother kept to himself but actively worked very hard to get away from the situation. We were raised to be “god loving”, not have sex before marriage and that people that practiced BDSM were evil, among many other strict beliefs that we were upheld to but our parents seemed incapable of practicing.

As you may have gathered, i started to think for myself very early on, exploring the world and coming to my own conclusions. i am the black sheep of the family.

Now, back to the post. i was taught that certain words were under no circumstances acceptable. So, when one day in the very infancy of our marriage, my Husband was talking dirty to me during sex. He called me a slut. my mood was instantly extinguished, i told Him i didn’t like it and would appreciate it if He wouldn’t call me that, and a few other words were covered.. He respected my wishes, never said it again and we never rehashed the situation after that night.

Fast forward to a couple nights ago, we were in the middle of a scene, having some wonderful rough sex. my Master was controlling my orgasms, talking to me, i do so love the way He talks to me. He commanded me at this moment, “This is the only cock for that pussy, that pussy is mine, do you understand?” i mumbled my best “yes sir” as i was holding an earthquake of an orgasm back, “who’s pussy is that?” I took a sharp breath, “Your pussy Sir” satisfied with the answer He allowed me to cum. In the midst of releasing completely He continued to talk, “Good girl, very nice. you make my cock so happy, I want you to be my little slut, my good little slut, I want you to be only my slut, can you be a good girl and can you be my slut?” as shocked as i was, hearing this from my Master for the first time in years, all i could do, was answer eagerly, “yes Sir, I want to be your dirty little slut Sir, yes Sir please let me be Your slut” He came so fucking hard.

The aftermath in my head was interesting. i wasn’t quite sure what to do or think, i didn’t know what to feel.

He had awoken something in me that night. A desire i didn’t know i had, but now that i knew about it i wanted so badly to be His slut. To always be His slut. i wanted to wear the title tattooed across my forehead. i wanted everyone to know that i was not ashamed, rather that i was proud to be His slut.

I found this definition satisfactory:

http://www.submissiveguide.com/2010/02/the-myth-of-a-slut/

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