Journal 8 – Good girl

He says good and good girl on occasion. I have been slacking this week, He hasn’t said a word. He’s let me sleep in and not said a word when there were a few dishes in the sink or toys strewn around. 

i’ve been given alotted amount of things to do daily, squats, packing boxes.. Not really mentionable until the punishment is twenty lashings for each squat undone, then one tends to remember ha. 

I have been having a very very hard time with one request my Master has made of me. To be on top and fuck Him, not top Him, but my switch brain has been frighting this, i feel as though i must dominate Him if i’m ontop fucking Him and the mood just dies. 

Last night we had a conversation before scene and I explained this to Him,  and that I needed to be put in my place before He could do what i suggested, which was Him Dominate me into it. 

He put me in submissive space and then had me do what was asked, still wasn’t working so He decided to show me. 

I was just taught how to do something that i’ve been doing for years, but it was exactly what i needed.

Back to the beginning, He said to me at the end of that night. “You have been such a good girl!” And He pet my head as I nuzzled it into His hand further.

The way He said it was different than usual. Since we started this journey it’s been only to teach me, nothing more, He never really said it with belief, with feeling. Last night He believed it, it wasn’t just to teach me the yays and nays of this new relationship. It was because I was a good girl. 

That feeling was unexplainable.


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